I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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