I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
