We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
