:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
