I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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