Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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