So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
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In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
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If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My vagina is very pro this idea
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize