is your mom at the bar?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
