Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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