I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
