Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
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I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
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Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.