Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?