I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
