FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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