She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
