nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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