i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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