If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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