All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
