I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
