my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm jealous of your bromance
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Dicks are not precious.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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