I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
