saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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