Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
