You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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