Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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