when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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