So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
