I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
