its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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