My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
