I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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