It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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