Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
