Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
