"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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