I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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