her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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