i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
