Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
