Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Your dad touched me again.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
