would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
