He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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