So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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