You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
