true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
