He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
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