I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
