dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
