No awkward lesbian experiences without me
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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