No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
