She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
