Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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