I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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