Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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