apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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