This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
