a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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