Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
