I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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