They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
