Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
love makes seman taste better
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
