so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
