my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
