if only i could text you this smell
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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