in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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