Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Randomize
